If you don’t buy this book we’ll kill this werewolf

Walt Disney's frozen head says read the Dark Side Anthology

It’s here! Everyone who is sick of me talking about how talented my friends from the Creative Alliance are can now go see for themselves. Head to Amazon or Smashwords and order yourself a copy. Yes I’m in both versions

AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Charity-Anthology-ebook/dp/B003V4B3MQ/
SMASHWORDS: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/18495

Books are amazing. I love books. I’ll read anything; I read Long Hard Road Out of Hell because someone had scrawled “CRAP” on the cover of the copy in the bargain bin. Believe me you don’t need to know that much about Brian Warner. There’s just something about opening a book and discovering a fantastic story that brings you into a different world entirely. Some of my oldest friends are characters from books. I’ve lived a thousand lives and gone to a million words and they’re right there still on the bookshelf if I get lonely. Today we’re bringing you a new book the Dark Side Anthology. A lot of really talented people worked hard on this and it’s full of great stories and poems. I’ve already recommended Nicole Ireland’s story Second Chances to several people who’ve gone through an experience like that. All the proceeds will be donated to charity too. The Letter’s and Light organization helps kids to achieve their creative potential. If all that isn’t enough I’ve come up with ten more reasons for you to buy a copy of the Dark Side Anthology.

Ten Reason’s you should buy the Dark Side Anthology

1. It’s not Finnegan’s Wake

Let’s face it I’m going to literary hell for thinking Finnegan’s Wake is a long winded monster. I’m just not smart enough to understand James Joyce. The good news is he doesn’t have a single story in the Dark Side Anthology.

2. You don’t have to worry about reading the first nine books in the series.

That’s right this is the first Dark Side Anthology. We will get you to buy two through ten only after we’ve written the stories.

3. Everyone I know is reading it.

Peer pressure pure and simple. You don’t want to be the only one at the beach without a copy of the Dark Side Anthology. It’s the IT book this summer. Everyone is buzzing about it. It’s even better than reading Lindsay Lohan’s fingernails.

4. I have a story in it

Ok it’s not hubris because I waited till the fourth reason to buy the Dark Side Anthology. Besides I played the age old authors trick and had one friend dragged off by another friend’s pet guaranteeing at least two sales.*

* Disclaimer – Lazuli only eats gnomes and Telltale the french horn player is quite safe in Nashville. No World of Warcraft players were harmed making this book.

5. It’s a classic

When your friends are going on about reading Jane Austen or some lightweight like Tolstoy casually mention you’re reading the Dark Side Anthology. It’s got to be better than trying to explain the ending of Lost to someone who brought War and Peace on vacation.

6 The Lemon Law

You can return it in sixty days as long as it still has that “new lemon” smell

7 Alien Abduction

Sixty million people believe they’ve been abducted by aliens. You’d better be prepared since the only company is going to be Walt Disney’s frozen head and he just won’t stop talking about Twilight.

8 The author’s are great for your friend’s list on Facebook

You would not believe the number of attractive young women Facebook thinks I should be friends with after I added Nikki to my friend’s list. If you buy the Dark Side Anthology the authors will also come and fetch your dry cleaning and wash the windows.

9. It’s on your summer reading list

Oprah said you have to read the Dark Side Anthology. It’s right between Kings of the Earth and The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake. When asked if she enjoyed reading the Dark Side Anthology Oprah replied: “What! Did someone hack my reading list again?”

10. That cute clerk at the bookstore

The gorgeous brown eyed clerk at Mr. Paperback always recommends books that I suddenly discover a need to read and own immediately if not sooner. She’s the one taking the orders for the Dark Side Anthology. Her brother Jean Luc takes over when it’s a rainy day and he’s not sparkling too much in the sun.

If you don’t buy this book we’ll kill this werewolf – If you didn’t get the joke go to this link for the original National Lampoon cover. Warning it’s a very controversial image. It’s a joke the werewolf was in on the photo shoot. We staked a vampire had a few laughs and the werewolf got a little drunk at the pub after the photo shoot.

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6 Responses to If you don’t buy this book we’ll kill this werewolf

  1. Jenny Beans says:

    OMG! This is the best promotional tool EVER! We were laughing so hard. Great stuff, Joe! In fact, I’m gonna TWEET IT!

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention If you don’t buy this book we’ll kill this werewolf | Chikuba's Blog -- Topsy.com

  3. Patrick says:

    That is pure gold!

  4. Nicole says:

    Awesome, Joe! I love it!!! You’re one witty dude.

    • Vickie McCarty says:

      Well, I think you’ve found your niche Joe. And I know it’s really Charlotte that channeling the short story and blog through you. I bought the anthology and read the tale. Looks like you have a beginning for a very offbeat extended storyline featuring the Dunkin Clan. I also think you should post your blog about the Anthology on Amazon. I like what you and your fellow authors are doing. Take the plunge and keep writing.

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